in talks with friends one specific topic seems to come to the surface, or I notice that it maybe should come up. The key ingredient of this topic is Confusion! And lots of it. And the reason of this confusion? Spiritual transition!
Walking a path on which “the spiritual” progressively gains more in intensity, while the corporal and self-centredness loses its intensity, you will come across some weird ass changes of which you actually may start wondering if you are actually going mental! Well in a way you are, and luckily so. You are namely noticing signs of an important change. You could see this change as a rising of vibration levels, or as if you suddenly are falling under a whole new set of causal laws turning the old ones obsolete. In long past times this change was called a rebirth or it was simply symbolised a birth. And that is actually seems to be a good choice of words because in a sense we are reborn or born into a new consciousness.
It seems quite debilitating to sense that everything that worked before suddenly doesn’t work anymore. You don’t force it, it just happens. Your memory as you had it? Poof!!!! It’s gone… You end up putting your car keys in your fridge and your groceries in the oven so to say… Making you really wonder if you are actually dementing. Or what about this one? You were always very fond of books and books and books. It was your life and existence. And suddenly you just find that you even can’t get trough one page anymore. That you need heaps of energy just to understand one paragraph… You may wonder if you are losing yourself… But you aren’t. You are actually finding yourself but on a different level, one where books don’t apply but where direct knowledge and insight does. In a sense the world and your experience are becoming your books.
These are just a couple examples. In the list below you will find many more that have to do with your personal spiritual rebirth and the rehabilitation that’s connected to it. You will probably recognise a part of them or even all of them. Depending to where you stand in your process.
Memory loss! Your short-term and long-term memory seem to be affected. The reason for this is that you are entering a different world. In a way your brain works differently now and at the other hand don’t you need these old memories anymore. It is only kind of impractical when dealing with other people. You may remember the feelings of events but not the events them selves. It is perfectly normal. You are not dementing! It only feels that way…
Feeling that you are escaping your body… Someone may be talking to you and you have that distinct feeling of floating off into the stratospheres of your now aura. You just seem to space out… What happens is that there is a lot of nonsense being thrown at you and it just doesn’t catch your interest at all. It is useless information that you are not able to relate to because there is no solid base to it. You may find yourself losing the ability for small talk for instance because there is nothing solid behind it. At other times it may be your bodies defense-mechanism that keeping you safe under stress or trauma. Someone can shout at you and you are just not in your body, you are dealing calmly with the situation. The shock often comes later in that case.
Losing your identity! This is a large one… Your old patterns have left you so you don’t even recognize your own reactions anymore. You may find that you don’t react the same as before to anger or frustration or other emotions that are thrown at you. You may feel that you might have turned cold to those but it is more that you start to see reason in it or the lack there of. You start to see if it is carried by that open and new consciousness or not. Love can be carried by it or may not be carried by it. Anger even may be rightfully uttered and you may find yourself thanking the person getting angry at you or you just let it pass because it does’t mean anything. All signs of you losing your identity.
Chronic fatigue. You may experience terrible fatigue. Your body feels chronically lethargic. This is because your body is losing its density. It is becoming more astral and is restructuring and reconnecting in a way. You can help it along by doing proper detox and eating raw foods. Preferably vegan to create as little ballast to your body as possible. This will help you guaranteed because you don’t disturb but support the higher vibrational levels. It will also help your transition process a great deal.
Acute fatigue and pains. Your choices and situations seem to affect you stronger than before. Wrong choices and situations will make you feel exhausted and can cause sudden onset of aches in your body while the right ones make you bubble with energy, giving you perspective and joy. This is a very clear pointer of what is a right or a wrong choice for you. Navigate on just that which makes your energy levels surge and leave what makes you feel down and fatigued.
Confusion. Here the same thing happens as it is the case with acute fatigue and pains. Confusion often goes hand in hand with those. Your choices and situations seem to affect you strongly in the direction of confusion or into clear insight. Where your mind is open and clear and filled with insights there you are reacting from the new consciousness while the confusions come from choosing for something that goes against it.
You are becoming more sensitive to your surroundings. Food, noises, voices, smells and even thoughts and ideas… You may become terribly overwhelmed and overstimulated by all of it. Just take time to withdraw from all the impulses to recover.
You are experiencing stress. Old patterns are coming up and are becoming clear to you. You notice that you have to let go of them to flow freely again…
Your body may start aching inexplicably. Especially your joints and back and shoulders may cause you discomfort. With these kinds of aches you will notice that yoga and meditation relieves your pain to a certain degree. The cause of these aches is energy that is blocked. Getting it to flow again, by for example meditation or massages, means bringing the causes to your consciousness after which you may solve the issues on a deeper level.
You wake up in the middle of the night after having been half waking and half asleep. Never really leaving your body. The reason is that there is a lot going on. Your energy is shifting to a different level and vibration and this happens especially at night. It is wise to make sure that you are getting enough sleep.
You don’t feel like being active in any kind of way… This is apart from the tiredness. It is your body rebooting by avoiding the things you don’t need. Things that direct your energy wrongly simply won’t work for you anymore. Those books you read before just have lost their allure. You may find yourself sitting in silence not even feeling like washing the dishes. You could think about what you really would love to do or what you really need to dissolve it.
You feel you don’t belong. You are part of a new energy field. A new law or world by which you simply don’t belong in the old energy field or world anymore. This may make you feel lonely. Apart from finding yourself in harmony with others that vibrate on the same energy level. They make you feel like coming home.
You are becoming some sort of human lie detector. You will sense the truth in the vibration of the voice or the position of the body. This is very practical but also kind of disappointing, seeing how much lying is going on. It is best to leave people thinking that they fooled you. They tend to react strongly when you uncover what is true rather than what is said.
Your dietary needs change. You may feel a reluctance to certain foods and a desire for cleaner foods and feel a reluctance towards alcohol and other stimulants. I would promote trying out a high raw and or high vegan diet for some weeks just to see how you will react. Many of our symptoms may be lessened by it. Alcohol and stimulants dull the senses and may become a way of keeping you from being overwhelmed but simultaaniously they are counterproductive for gaining true clarity.
Disappearance of friends. Other people may suddenly not match your vibration any longer. They may still live out of certain habits and from a certain energy that is no longer part of your life. It is a sad thing but people disappear. Others will arrive though. Fulfilling your life on a different level.
Interests disappear. Certain interests simply don’t match your vibrational level any longer. New ones will come soon enough though, or old ones return in a new jacket.
Strong emotions. You may feel yourself swept along in a current of strong emotions that seem to arrive out of the blue. A feeling of weltschmertz of which the reason cannot be rationally explained. Emotions are an outlet of tensions. They just need to come out and don’t alway need particular reasons for it. You just need to sit it out.
Old routines feel just wrong. Just leave them.
Suddenly you lose abilities and talents you had before. You were always able to play that guitar, write that story, paint that picture and suddenly you simply can’t anymore. You just don’t seem to have the drive and you neither have the ability any longer. This has to do with the change of vibration. Your abilities are lost because they were fueled from a lower energy level. They will return in a different way than before, then fueled by a higher energy level. You talents will become freer and more easy and real. You just need to sit it out.
You feel as if you are totally losing it! Your awareness is greatly amplified and all emotions are stronger and seem to have a deeper and stronger effect. Also your actions have a greater effect. Wrong actions and choices may give you great emotional turmoil while right actions and choices will give you great harmony. You just need to learn to navigate on those emotions.
You seem to get stuck in impossible situations. You are stronger aware of what is right and not right for you. And what was right before doesn’t need to be right anymore because of a rising of your vibration or an entering of a new energy field. It means that you need to pack up your things and find the change that is suitable to your new energy level. It may mean change of job or living situation. You also seem to attract weirdness. The higher your vibration is the stronger you attract things. If your vibrations are not completely pure and part of two worlds then you will attract both as well, creating situations that are filled with schisms until you connect to the higher vibrations rather than to both.
All these changes may be scary. You may feel that you are losing something and especially in the period of transition it is hard to see what lies ahead. How things will be. How you should react. It is all difficult and it makes you often cling to old patterns, worsening your situation. Everything returns though. Your memory will be restored. Friends come along. A new place and direction in your life is found but often not without creating a lot of mess in the middle. Just be forgiving towards yourself and move on and believe that a new way of thinking with a more direct insight an experience is on its way to break trough. You may sense a glimpse of it every now and again. Those will become more frequent until it has become a constant stream. But still then you are not done. This transformation continues on all levels. More subtle and more refined than before and that is how you develop further.
Don’t be afraid. You won’t lose your mind and neither your personality even though it seems like it sometimes. You are only on your way to becoming a new and sublimed version of yourself that experiences more joy and maybe also more sadness too at times. But hey, those are there is to learn from as well…
Flowing along the stream you can move the left and to the right, anticipating things to come. Avoiding obstacles. But you can’t fast forward and you can’t stand still and you can’t go back to something that you’ve passed before. You just need to flow along and sense what is possible within your situation without upsetting the stream, making it turn against you.
Be well, be safe and be loving… All will fall in its place.
About the author
Douwe Boschma is a Dutch graphic designer and artist living in Norway. He has a passion for permaculture, art, culture, veganism, animal welfare, history, biology, physics, psychology, eastern and western philosophy and spirituality.