Depression. Without a doubt one of the most complex of emotions to understand and empathise with in others. It is complex to an extent that it is renown for being a taboo topic, which the majority of us struggle to express and come to terms with it. For the reason that, there is a tremendous difficulty in us being coherent at an attempt to verbalise the enormity of an array of feelings so overwhelming, in a language that others can understand and help support us with. Unfortunately there is still a great deal of stigma in regard to depression and many of us who are subjected to these inhibiting and demoralising feelings that accompany this state, are far from getting the support we need.
Depression propels us into a state of complete emptiness in which one begins to loose an alarming amount of interest in any former thing associated with enjoyment, happiness or hope. Depression is a state which lowers our vibrations so drastically, that it can impact on our physical health by weakening the immune system, causing inflammation, skin problems, digestive problems, chronic illnesses and in cases where it becomes severe, physical illnesses that are much more challenging to reverse. It demotivates, numbs, isolates, cripples, demolishes any sense of self-worth, leaving us in the middle of a fog, questioning how on earth we navigate our way out of a feeling that leaves us feeling utterly powerless, worthless, exhausted, hopeless, traumatised, empty and lost. What makes depression so frightening to experience for many of us, is that it feels thoroughly unlikely we will emerge from this bottomless pit of the unknown and regain enough will to return to a state which allows us to move forward with our lives.
Here is what is essential for us to take on board, with whatever negative or intensely crippling damaging feelings we are experiencing within the moment. We are not an emotion. We are a multitude of emotions. And depression, is just one of many. We are an array of both many negative, and many positive emotions. The most inhibiting aspect of the negative ones however, is that once we are enveloped in a state of fear, anxiety, sadness, despair and lack of enthusiasm towards life, we are convinced entirely that this feeling, is who we are. Notice that when we ask someone how they are, they say “i am depressed” more often than “i feel depressed”. What this implies, is that we ARE depression. Or we ARE sadness. That this is an irreversible, irrevocable state that one can not rise above. Indeed, during these states that can last from a couple of months to even a few years, it does feel that we have become so greatly dominated and overwhelmed by this particular feeling, that is it the only possible state left for us to remain in for the rest of our lives. We often become so convinced of this notion, that we see no way out, no other choice, and that the opportunity to arise from it, is impossible. It does not sound remotely encouraging but, the negative that we experience in these feelings, is a necessity in order for us to feel anything positive.
There are ways in which we can raise our vibrations by remembering the following :
–You are not depressed. You FEEL depressed, and there is a huge difference in being, and feeling. None of us are an individual feeling alone. And our feelings are not independent from one another, which is why depression encompasses many low vibration feelings. However, it is our nature as a soul forever on a journey to reach a higher level of conciousness, to experience all of these emotions, and sometimes in dramatic extremes. But it is important, at a time when our mind is so convincing in making us believe that this is what we have become, to recognise that, as with all states we enter, this one will pass, and we will forever be entering new phases that engulf us in both the positive and more negative emotions we harbour. However, what we need to remember, is that we must not hold onto any of these states. We must let them flow through us with greater acceptance, patience and trust. Understand that in the moment, as painful as it may be to accept, there is a necessity and a gift to the suffering we have been thrust into. I know it is the most frustrating thing to hear, when we are so desperately in need of answers, and ready to give up entirely in searching, but what we must remember, is that are emotions flow like water, from one state to the next, and no state we enter, is ever permanent. We are not a feeling. We are experiencing it. And everything eventually will pass.
Become the warrior you are. it may seem deeply painful, unfair, debilitating and confusing during these phases because it is only after we have passed through them, that we find the answers we need, and not during, when we so desperately want to make sense of why we feel as we do, or how to release ourselves from the agony of it all. But we are here to experience all of the, because simply it is what leads us to becoming who we are truly meant to be. Not who we want to be necessarily. But who we need to be. And often what these experiences force us to become, is a soul far beyond what we planned or expected of ourselves. I like to envision our emotions a little bit like the waves of a sea during a storm. When we are calm, the waves move under our boat near to the shore where we feel secure and safe. They embrace it gently while we remain enveloped in a state of joy, happiness and familiarity. But when we are full of suffering and conflict, the waves will move the little boat we sit in with such force, that we will begin to leave our shore of safety and become encompassed in the middle of a tide, and pushed out to sea where we are left to fumble and struggle trying to return to our little shore of safety but only to realise we never can. And this is just what we need. Because we are not meant to. We left our little shore, but now we will travel across an ocean to arrive amidst a landscape that is so vast, with a variety of undiscovered treasures. Sometimes, these emotions may feel like we are experiencing death of identity, death of our soul, because the trauma or pain we have experience is so great. And out of intense fear and vulnerability, we may cling to our boat. But when we abandon it and dive into the sea, we are not leaving behind anything we truly need, but rather, we are ridding ourselves of the burdens, the baggage, the emotional pain, and instead, cleansing and liberating ourselves, and accepting that all of these emotions are what we need to become the warriors we all are at our core.
-Our emotions our messengers. Sometimes we develop an illness or feel grief or loss, because our soul is trying to communicate something to us, and we have refused to listen. For many of us, we will continue to refuse to listen until our emotions manifest into physical illness and we are forced to slow down. But this sadness, or fear or anger, is not something you are feeling unnecessarily. There is a great importance to these low vibration feelings we experience, because they are truly trying to tell us that something within us is not quite as balanced as it should be. Unfortunately many of us try to fix the problem by trying to ignore or numb ourselves to the feeling, but eventually it only gets bigger and causes us more disturbances. Remember that whatever it is you are feeling that is making you uncomfortable or uneasy, is a message that your inner wisdom, your higher intelligence, is trying to communicate to you. If it is fear, it is telling you to embrace it and move forward, if it is grief, it is telling you to listen to this grief or loss and allow yourself time to process, mourn, and recover. If it is lack of enthusiasm or zest towards our career, or overall life, it is telling us to slow down, step back, and allow ourselves to detach from our expectations of ourselves for a while and give ourselves rest. All of these feelings both good and bad, are messengers, none of them are pointless, even if they seem damaging and destructive. But they only become so, when we ignore them and refuse to listen. Listen to the message your soul is trying to communicate to you. It is here you will begin to heal.
Do not allow yourself to get lost in it. What I mean by this is, our body, our mind, our spirit, our heart and our soul, they want you to be happy. We can not maintain happiness or contentment contentiously, and we would experience no growth of our spirit or expansion of the mind and heart if that were the case. However, we are, at our best, deeply powerful, influential, energetic and incredibly resilient beings. We may experience incredibly crippling emotions. But we always have the choice, as to wether we allow ourselves to wallow in it, and lose ourselves within it, or begin to search for the alternative : openness. You need not climb mountains, excel at life on all levels, find the answers to your questions, or even retain some vague amount of balance. No. that is not what I mean. However openness, is the beginning to everything. It is the beginning to navigating our way out of this cloud enveloping our vision, and understand that we are part of a universe, that dearly wants to give us support , so we can begin to regain strength and find our way back to ourselves. But there is only one difference between those that remain enveloped in these low vibration states for years on end, and those that fight their way back out. And it is not will, or determination, or strength even. It is openness to the possibility, of what we may discover, if we are willing to accept we are NOT depression, or sadness or pain. We have an entire sea of emotions at our disposal, and we can find our way to this state in which we are forever flowing and forever adapting, if we are willing to be open to understanding that many of the answers we need, our behind the doors we kept locked for so long, and all we need to do, is retrieve the key from inside ourselves, open those doors, and begin to find the answer.
Photography by Bassam Allam
About the author
Jwaydan Moyine is a classically trained Film Composer, Pianist, Cellist, Singer/Songwriter, and a Writer and Entrepreneur. She founded Earth Children to bring awareness to matters regarding the Environment, Animal welfare, Sustainable & Conscious living, Wellness & Humanitarian issues. She is heavily involved with activism for animal welfare in the UK and Egypt and child welfare in Syria, Thailand and Romania. She resides in Berkshire Running an organic food farm, an organic skincare company, and an online platform called Vegans & Elephants, bringing awareness to matters regarding the Planet, Plant based nutrition, Cruelty free living & the necessity of adapting to Veganism for the sake of Sustainability, Animal welfare and our Health. She has several qualifications in nutritional therapy, culinary medicine & holistic healing. You can find out more on what she is doing over at the Earth Children Facebook Page!
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